We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
