i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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