david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
