the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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