My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
