Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
