All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
