quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
