Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think I won the penis lottery.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
