You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
