I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
