Christians are straight up FREAKS
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just want nice things and good sex
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
