She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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