Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
