is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize
