her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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