honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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