Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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