ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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