I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
