i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
