alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
