i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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