Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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