For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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