my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
