i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
