"it" just moved
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
