FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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