what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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