Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
