And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
