tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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