well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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