so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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