My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
