There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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