do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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