I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
