Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
either way he was missing a nipple.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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