good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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