Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
