woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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