I am puke
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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