you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize