i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
