woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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