it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
