They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
