I'd wear matching sweaters with you
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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