Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
