ya dads aren't the best wingmen
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
