I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
handjob tips. give me some.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
