What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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