It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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