worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
