Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
