I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
