Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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