just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
