i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
